14 Weeks

So, I am big, fat showing now. Every once in a while, some well-intending lady will say, “Well, you’re not even showing yet.”

This, however, is offensive. Do you think my stomach normally looks like this?

Now, I’m in the long-haul until my next doctor’s appt. I had one last week where I tried to nail her down to a for-sure “bed rest” (or just paid leave) at 28 weeks, but she wouldn’t budge. I’m going to have to feign some contractions next time. My next appt. isn’t until November 25th.

I can usually go about 1-2 weeks between appointments and still believe that nothing catastrophic has happened in my uterus. Any more than that, and I’m googling “miscarriages with no symptoms,” “incidents where babies disappeared,” or “turned out babies were really just tumors with hair and teeth (you know the ones I’m talking about).” Needless to say, Google is never short of horrifying stories and rare occurrences. It’s keeping me on my toes.

I was also a little stressed that I had only gained a few pounds as of last week. I know this sounds incredibly annoying, and believe me, if you saw my thighs right now you’d know that I wasn’t being the complainy anorexic. It’s just that I’m supposed to gain 24 lbs. by 24 weeks. Well, I’m 14 weeks today, and Hello, my weight gain just kicked in. I had gained three pounds in total from weeks 1-13. Week 14 has already brought me three new pounds, and we’re only halfway through. At this rate I might end up weighing more than my Prius. Crisis averted (depending on who you’re talking to).

Woo-hoo!

Well, we had our 12 week NT scan this week. The purpose of this scan is to detect possible Downs Syndrome or other genetic defects. The real purpose for me was finding out the sexes.

I brought my mom with me because Jon needed a break from doctors' appointments. My mother, God bless her, was pretty hyped up. As the doctor was scanning and measuring, he would tell us what he was looking at, and my mom would interrupt and say, "We just want to know what's between the legs." Not whether or not the baby has a potentially life-altering defect--not important. Just pink or blue.

She also decided that she could tell by looking at their facial features what they were before the doctor made his determination. She was like, "See that one has very feminine facial features, and the other obviously has very masculine features." She was cracking me up. Especially when the doctor announced that he's 98% sure we're having TWO GIRLS!!! My mom was like, "See, I told you the one had feminine features." I guess we're ignoring her other prediction. Anyway, I'm really glad she came. It made for quite the experience, and she said it was the best day of her life. :)

Baby A seems like she might be the crazy one. She was bucking around and kicking, flipping so much that the doctor could hardly get his measurements.

Baby B might be the little pacifist. She just peacefully sucked her thumb the entire time and didn't move an inch. You can see her sucking her thumb in this picture.

I am beyond thrilled. From the beginning I've said if it were up to me, we'd have two girls. Jon's really excited too. He always said he didn't have a gender preference, and I didn't believe him, but I guess he really didn't. When I told him it was two girls, he was a little speechless, and then, of course, his analytical side came out, and he stated that this could really play to our strengths. I just went out and started buying things--can't stop. Woo-hoo!

Random Musings on Being Pregnant

1. I am too tired to ever write anything clever on this blog. If I were to dictate my usual thoughts, they would read like this:

“Macaroni and Cheese sounds really good right now . . . I could eat the shit out of some macaroni . . . so tired . . . one nipple is throbbing, just one . . . pillow . . . like someone is giving me a 7th grade style titty-twister. . . have to pee . . . already have gone nine times today . . . zzzz . . . if it’s a freaking trickle again I’m going to be pissed . . . Eric from True Blood.”

And scene. And thus, this is why my posts have been few and far between.

2. When I lie down, it feels like there are two dictionaries stacked on my abdomen. This is disconcerting as no one needs to be thinking about her job as an English teacher when she’s trying to watch Bridezillas.


3. Thursday I go in for my 12 weeks scan and to potentially find out the genders. The aspect of motherhood that I am most looking forward to is buying teen-tiny nightgowns, so after Thursday I might be able to do this choosing gender-appropriate colors.

4. On a heavier note, this article ruined my weekend: http://www.nytimes.com/2009/10/11/health/11fertility.html?_r=1&scp=1&sq=In%20Vitro&st=cse

There are very few infertility patients who haven’t spent thousands of hours researching every aspect of infertility and pregnancy. To imply that these same people are making misguided, uneducated, and possibly selfish decisions to implant more than one embryo is ridiculous. Not to mention, has the NY Times ever heard of kicking someone when they’re down? The first question I get when someone finds out I’m pregnant with twins is whether or not they were “natural” or from IVF. So, I get to relive my private and painful two-year battle with every acquaintance I run in to, and then to give them one-sided ammunition to judge that process is cruel.

10 weeks

How far along? 10 weeks.

Total weight gain: 1 lbs.

Maternity clothes? a little--don't judge

Sleep: like a baby who has to get up and pee every 2 hours

Best moment this week: getting the new wallpaper installed for the nursery. Pictures to come!

Movement: Not yet.

Gender: We might find out in two weeks!

Labor Signs: Please.

Belly Button in or out? In.

What I miss: Seeing 10 o'clock

What I am looking forward to: NT scan in two weeks. I'm convinced that doomed in between each scan. I tend to be major glass half empty.

Weekly Wisdom: Do not drink fizzy orange drinks for breakfast. Gag central.

Milestones: First toxoplasmosis scare. Cow (the cat) had a giant log stuck to his butt because he's too fat and lazy to clean himself. Thus, Jon had to give him a bath, scraping the poop off his butt. It was definitely a fatherhood test--Jon passed.

Now, I'm definitely selling my pride down the river posting these pictures:

Six weeks a.k.a. Debra with massive bloat.

10 weeks--WTF?!!! Granted, I had just eaten a huge bowl of macaroni and cheese, but seriously? Twins, shwins--more like septuplets.