26 Weeks

Well, I had a little scare yesterday. It was a really pretty, sunny day, and I thought I could manage walking the dogs around the park that's across the street. Apparently not--I started having contractions. They weren't very close together, but creepy nonetheless. When you looked down you could see the outline of their bodies under the skin because it was stretched so tight. So, I had to stay off my feet the rest of the day. That's harder than it sounds. Jon's been working crazy hours, and I'm OCD about the house being clean, and the combo. just doesn't work. Needless to say, I woke up this morning, and the kitchen looked exactly the same as it did after dinner. That's never happened. And, I'm not going to say it was okay. It made me feel sick, and washing dishes that have been left out all night is totally disgusting. Cold, foody water is sick enough to make me immediately clean the kitchen after every meal to avoid it.

So, I went to the doctor and got my cervix checked. That was pleasant. It was like the worst, teenage sexual experience you could imagine. But, thankfully, it was fine--not open a bit. However, as I was lying down on the table, naked from the waist down in butterfly position, the doctor is telling me about something and then starts stuttering. Then he goes, "Sorry, I got distracted." Seriously? You cannot say you got distracted when I'm in naked butterfly position. I'm convinced I have a major grooming situation going on that he just couldn't get past. Oh, and he said he couldn't see evidence of my varicose vein, so that wasn't it. Yes, I told him about it. I was hoping it might get me bed rest. No dice.

Are you f***ing kidding me?

I have a pregnancy-induced varicose vein on my lady parts. Do you understand what I'm saying? A varicose vein (the same thing as a hemorrhoid) on my junk.

I no longer have the will to live.

23 Weeks

How Far Along? 23 weeks

Total Weight Gain: 19.5 lbs.

Sleep: Brutal! I wake up every two hours. I wonder if it's the body's way of preparing for being up all night with babies.

Best Moment of the Week: I had a sonogram yesterday that my friend, Ali, and my sister, Joanna, got to attend. The girls are both doing great, and they're huge. They're supposed to be 1 lbs., and they're both weighing 1 lbs. 5 oz. The doctor asked me what I was feeding them. The answer is Big Mac meals.

Movement: All the time. Jon even felt them move a couple of times. They love Fanta BTW. I picture them doing the Fanta girls dance every time I drink it.

Belly Button: How is this mother hanging on? It's on the brink of inside out at any moment. And let me tell you that my former belly button ring hole looks really sexy.

What I Miss: My neck.

What I Am Looking Forward To: Showers! I have two showers in January that I cannot wait for!

Weekly Wisdom: Gymboree $3.99 bin. Don't even get me started. The girls have enough clothes to last them a year now, and I only spent $60.

Milestones: Next week the babies would technically be viable if they were born. I think the Duggar baby that was just born was 24 weeks. It wouldn't be pretty, but it's a relief to know that they'd have a chance.

21 Weeks

How far along? 21 weeks.
Total weight gain: 12.5 lbs.
Maternity clothes? Yes, and I'm already sick of them. I went shopping the other day, forgetting that I'm a freak of nature right now. I keep picking up clothes in normal sizes and completely disregarding my 15 lbs. stomach tumor. Delusional.
Sleep: Aah--I've been sick. I never thought the day would come when I would have a humidifier set up in my bedroom. I do.
Best moment this week: Knowing that Christmas is only a week away. I adore Christmas.
Movement: Yes, but now this just gives me another reason to be paranoid. They've really chilled out these past couple of days, and now I'm obsessively googling about it.
Gender: Definitely two girls! The doctor confirmed that at the last appt. and that they are healthy and actually a little big for their age.
Labor Signs: Nope.
Belly Button in or out? In, but that is one stressed out bellybutton. It is literally being pulled in two different directions.
What I miss: I was never really a beer drinker before I got pregnant, but I've really been craving beer this week. Weird.
What I am looking forward to: Christmas!!!
Weekly Wisdom: Stretch marks are not the worst thing that can happen to your stomach. How about creepy spider veins ON MY STOMACH!
Milestones: I'm over halfway through!

The Nursery!

Okay, we've made some serious progress on the nursery in the past month. In fact, everything is basically ready to go except for the bedding. Here are some pics:

It took Jon from 11 am to 4 pm Saturday to get these two cribs together. Bless his heart.

That's my new cozy rocking chair and my good-as-new swing, courtesy of my friend Sharion!

The product of another of Jon's entire Saturdays:

Finally, I bought some really pretty organic bedding from Pottery Barn Kids, but when it came in it was that really ugly, no manufactured dye, all-natural color. Screw being green. So, I took it back, and I'm taking that as permission to go nuts with the bedding--as commercial as possible. I found this really cool vintage fabric, and I'm not sure how I'm going to use it yet, but I'm thinking it does have a future in the room.

It's paper dolls! Have you ever seen anything that adorable in your life?

Anyway, I'll update when the bedding decisions are final. This is important stuff, people.

18 Weeks

Please notice the extreme vein action popping up on my stomach. I'm officially see-through.

How far along? 18 weeks.

Total weight gain: 7-10 lbs. depending on the day

Maternity clothes? Fo' sho--wrangling this giant stomach into anything has become a chore. it does not want to be contained.

Sleep: I have to sleep on my side now because of the pressure from the girls, and I am not a side sleeper, so sleep consists of a lot of labored rolling fro. side to side. I've had better.

Best moment this week: Wednesday I have another sonogram! They're going to verify that it's two girls and just give me some peace of mind. I was so spoiled have sonograms every two weeks that now it's been 5-6, and I'm dying!

Movement: Just started! I was telling my friend, Keri, that I assumed what I was feeling was something else because everyone I talked to was like, "It feels like a bubble, or a feather, or a tickle." What I was feeling felt like a little teeny baby kicking me from the inside. I thought it was too easy.

Gender: Most likely two girls!

Labor Signs: Please.

Belly Button in or out? In, but hanging on by a thread. I predict an outie in the near future.

What I miss: Wine. Something about fall weather makes me want to curl up with a book and a glass of wine every night. Nothing gets you through the holidays quite like a little buzz.

What I am looking forward to: Finishing the nursery. All I have left to get are the cribs and the bedding. I'll start posting pics soon.

Weekly Wisdom: A cheese platter is not a recipe for success in ending a stubborn poop situation.

Milestones: Feeling the babies kick!

Luckiest Girl Evah!!

Okay, so Monday afternoon Jon calls me and asks if I want to go to St. Kitts with him for a deposition. What a waste of three minutes--who's turning that down?

So, Wednesday morning we left our house at 4 am to board our 6am flight to Miami. Only, no one ever told our pilot that it's a great idea to check for malfunctioning engines before the plane is pulling out of the terminal. So, two hours later we're on a new plane to Miami, missing the only flight of the day to St. Kitts. Needless to say, we were pissed. But, we made the best of it and ate dinner at Gloria Estefan's Cuban restaurant in South Beach. For not the first time in my life, I felt like Kathy Griffin (if you watch D list, you'll know what I'm talking about.)

The next day we got on a flight, and finally made it to St. Kitts. Jon had a deposition when we got there, but I read at the beach until he was ready and then we went to the most beautiful restaurant I've ever been to.

It was called The Beach House, and it was one of those inside/outside concepts. There were no walls, just curtains and you could hear the crashing waves that were like 20 feet away. Awesome.Then, since we only had the next day to spend in St. Kitts, we made the most of it and toured the island before going to the beach.

Breakfast on the beach.

Really old fertility drawings--would have been nice to have about a year ago.

Toured a famous fort.Went to a place where they make those Caribbean fabric prints.

And then, to the most beautiful beach ever. They had funny, tame animals running around like pigs and monkeys and a delicious restaurant right on the beach where you could get fresh lobster sandwiches. And, they had me in a pregnant bikini. Never thought that would happen.

Best vacation ever, and the best best babymoon, considering I probably won't be doing anything like this again for a LONG time.